Forgiveness: a Meditation

today i'm going to be meditating on the

concept of forgiveness so these are a

couple of stories that are fictionalized

but they're common and they're based on

people i've known

maybe you can relate

after 10 years of marriage mabel

discovered that her husband had cheated

on her he notified mabel that the

marriage was over and that he was moving

on with the new love of his life

bill worked hard at the office to create

an innovative marketing approach that

resulted in a huge increase to the

company's bottom line bill expected a

big promotion and a salary increase but

he was horrified to discover that his

supervisor had presented bill's

accomplishments as his own his

supervisor received a big promotion and

a pay raise bill received nothing

peter had an alcoholic father who abused

and embarrassed his family peter was

angry that he couldn't invite friends to

his home for fear of what they would see

he was devastated to see his beloved

family members wounded by his father's

addiction peter believed that his father

could fix his problems but wouldn't

mary was distracted while driving to the

grocery store she didn't see the

pedestrian when she turned it into the

parking lot

the pedestrian was seriously hurt mary

was deeply horrified and continues to

relive the episode in her mind her guilt

unforgiveness turned inward has her

bound in misery

we've all got a story hopefully yours

isn't as horrible as those i just

mentioned but my point isn't just that

life isn't fair but that mabel bill

peter and mary and all the rest of us

have a very difficult but hugely

important choice to make forgiveness

why for the benefit of mabel bill peter

and mary and ourselves unforgiveness can

destroy us it seems natural to want to

turn our anger into a weapon against

those who have hurt us but that holds us

captive to constantly relive the offense

mabel's ex-husband bill's supervisor and

peter's father caused grave damage mary

caused the damage to herself as well as

to the pedestrian but medically

psychologically and spiritually holding

anger

releases poison into our own bodies and

our minds here's a couple of studies

that bear that out

so there's one that says anger outbursts

increase the risk of stroke brain bleeds

heart attacks and aneurysm rupture i'll

link to these in the show notes anger

decreases your immunity anger can

exacerbate anxiety disorders resentment

and hostility can harm your lungs these

are all titles for studies that have

been done blame plays a role in chronic

pain emotional suppression shortens

lifespans

there is only one way to be free and

that's forgiveness without forgiveness

of ourselves and others we remain in a

prison of our own making

christians are warned in scripture of

this principle and the danger all of us

occasionally fail we like to think in

these terms his offense was a 10 out of

10. my offense was only a 2 out of 10.

or in the case of mary my offense was a

50 out of 10 and i'm horrible

god doesn't keep that kind of a

scorecard our minds and our bodies are

not designed to flourish and with

sustained anger and guilt god has

forgiven us and commands that we

likewise forgive others and ourselves

that command is not because what they

did isn't important or because the hurt

they cause doesn't matter but for our

own sakes and for the sake of our

relationship with god unforgiveness

hurts us not the person we're mad at so

a couple of scriptures that back this up

mark 11 22-26 says so jesus answered and

said to them have faith in god for

assuredly i say to you whoever says to

this mountain be removed and be cast

into the sea and does not doubt in his

heart but believe that those things he

said will be done to pass it will be

done he will have what he says therefore

i say to you whatever things you ask

when you pray believe that you receive

them and you will have them and whenever

you stand praying if you have anything

against anyone forgive him that your

father in heaven may also forgive you

your trespasses but if you do not

forgive neither will your father in

heaven forgive your trespasses

so in this verse jesus has just cursed

the fig tree and it withered from the

roots but peter didn't see it until the

following day and he was amazed that it

happened just as as jesus had said jesus

told him that he will have what he says

and what he asks for from the father if

he believes in his heart but then he

talks about forgiveness in the very next

verse in other words unforgiveness can

hinder our faith and faith is necessary

to receive answers from god in prayer

okay another verse james 5 13-16 is

anyone among you suffering let him pray

is anyone cheerful let him sing psalms

is anyone among you sick let him call

for the elders of the church and let

them pray over him anointing him with

oil in the name of the lord and the

prayer of faith will save the sick and

the lord will raise him up and if he has

committed any sins he will be forgiven

confess your trespasses to one another

and pray for one another that you may be

healed the effective fervent prayer of a

righteous man avails much so this verse

implies that sometimes the consequences

of sin including unforgiveness can be

physical illness this isn't god

punishing us for our sin jesus took the

penalty for for our sin on the cross

rather it's sin giving an open door to

satan to steal kill and destroy from us

that's john 10 10

on a spiritual level or perhaps in some

cases satan isn't even involved but it's

just the increase in stress anxiety

cortisol adrenaline and even

inflammation caused by our own emotions

wreaking their natural consequences

either way if we forgive or release

whatever the sin may be we can release

the bitterness that gave satan the open

door to steal our health from us and

open the door to god's healing so

matthew 18 18 to 20 also covers that

we'll talk about that in a minute

another argument for forgiveness is that

it's only fair not to the person who

hurt us but to the lord we are to

forgive each other because god has

forgiven us of far more first john 1 9

says if we confess our sins he is

faithful and just to forgive our sins

and to cleanse us from all

unrighteousness

colossians 3 13 says bearing with one

another and forgiving one another if

anyone has a complaint against another

even as christ forgave you so you also

must do

matthew 6 12 and then later 14 and 16

says and forgive us our debts as we

forgive our debtors for if you forgive

men their trespasses your heavenly

father will also forgive you but if you

do not forgive men their trespasses

neither will your father forgive your

trespasses and the same prayer also

appears in luke 11 4. so i don't think

this means we'll lose our salvation

jesus paid for the sins of the whole

world first first john 2 2 past present

and future but it could mean that the

lord will allow us to feel the natural

consequences of sin of the sin of

unforgiveness so matthew 15 18 to 20

again i'm going to get to that in a

second and also mark 11 25 that we

already covered cover that same concept

too

luke 6 37 also says judge not and you

shall not be judged condemn not and you

shall not be condemned

forgive and you will be forgiven

luke 17 4 says and if he sins against

you seven times in a day and seven times

in a day returns to you saying i repent

you shall forgive him

okay so matthew 18 21-35 this is the

parable of the unforgiving servant then

peter came up to him jesus and said lord

how often shall my brother sin against

me and i forgive him up to seven times

and jesus said to him i do not say to

you up to seven times but up to 70 times

seven

therefore the kingdom of heaven is like

a certain king who wanted to settle

accounts with his servants and when he

had begun to settle accounts he was

brought to him who owed him ten thousand

talents but as he was not able to pay

his master commanded that he be sold

with his wife and children and all that

he had and that payment be made the

servant therefore fell down before him

saying master have patience with me and

i will pay you all then the master of

that servant was moved with compassion

released him and forgave him the dead

but that servant went out and found one

of his fellow servants who owed him a

hundred daenery and he laid hands on him

and took him by the throat saying pay me

what you owe so his fellow servant fell

down at his feet and begged him saying

have patience with me and i will pay you

all and he would not but went and threw

him into prison until he should pay the

debt so when his fellow servants saw

what had been done they were very

grieved and came and told their master

all that had been done then his master

after he had called him said to him you

wicked servant i forgave you all that

debt because you begged me should you

not have also had compassion on your

fellow servant just as i had pity on you

and his master was angry and delivered

him to the torturers until he should pay

all that was doing

so my heavenly father also will do to

you if each of you from his heart does

not forgive his brother his trespasses

but okay back to me now um if we forgive

does that necessarily mean restoring

relationship with that person this is

where what trips a lot of people up if

they repent the answer is yes luke 17 3

take heed to yourselves if your brother

sins against you rebuke him and if he

repents forgive him but note here that

repent means more than just being sorry

it means to turn from the direction you

were headed and to turn around and go

the other way it means they have

demonstrated a change in behavior and

that they are not going to continue in

the same pattern that hurt you

originally

second corinthians 2 5 to 7 says but if

anyone has caused grief he has not

grieved me but all of you to some extent

this is paul talking not to be too

severe this punishment which was

inflicted by the majority is sufficient

for such a man so that on the contrary

you ought rather to forgive and comfort

him lest perhaps such a one be swallowed

up with too much sorrow

so we're to restore relationship in the

context of church fellowship according

to that verse rather than to ostracize

that person once they repented but if

they don't repent it's a different story

so matthew 18 15 to 20 says again

moreover if your brother sins against

you go and tell him his fault between

you and him alone if he hears you you've

gained your brother but if he will not

here take with you one or two more that

by the mouth of two or three witnesses

every word may be established and if he

refuses to hear them tell it to the

church but if he refuses even to hear

the church let him be to you like a

heathen and a tax collector assuredly i

say to you whatever you bind on earth

will be bound in heaven and whatever you

loose on earth will be loosed in heaven

again i say to you that if two of you

agree on earth concerning anything that

they asked it will be done for them by

my father in heaven for where two or

three are gathered together in my name i

am there in the midst of them

so notice here that jesus says that is

to you're supposed to approach your

brother directly you're not supposed to

tell everyone else what they've done

behind to you behind his back you only

involve other people for the purpose of

confronting that same brother or sister

and not behind his or her back if he or

she doesn't listen at first only then do

you tell it to the church so that the

other person can see their error if they

still refuse you treat them as a heathen

or a tax collector which doesn't mean

you hate them or that you're justified

and clinging to bitterness it just means

that you're no longer in fellowship with

them so that they can't continue to hurt

you

why jesus talk about binding and losing

and agreement in prayer while speaking

of forgiveness and fellowship

there are both physical and spiritual

consequences to our actions if we sin it

gives satan an open door to our lives

that's ephesians 4 27 to steal kill and

destroy that was john 10 10 and to try

to devour us first peter 5 8.

this verse suggests that we have the

authority in prayer to bind satan and

his demons so that they cannot continue

to cause spiritual consequences and in

context it implies that we have the

power to bind satan's attacks against

others even when it was their own sin

that opened the door for him but if our

brother or sister is set in their sin

and refuses to see that what they've

done is wrong

we can stop interceding on their behalf

and allow the natural law of sowing and

reaping to have its effect on them

galatians 6 7-8 talks about that

then perhaps the spiritual consequences

of their sin might make them see the

error of their ways

john 20 23 seems to echo this idea it

says if you forgive the sins of any they

are forgiven if you retain the sins of

any they are retained and obviously we

don't have the power to forgive sins

that's god's alone so it must be talking

about something else and i believe it's

talking about the natural consequences

of those sins

i've just seen a lot of my patients

struggle with this issue of forgiveness

and have it actually turn into physical

issues in their bodies so that is the

reason why i felt like this meditation

is important hope that was helpful to

you thank you for joining me and i'll

see you next week

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